The Perpetual Divide

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way- in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities. I read this book for the first time, I believe way back in middle school. What does America represent now?

Last Call

Been ghost for a spell...just reflecting.

I've been an alcoholic for awhile now. Most of the time I've denied it. Felt I was in control...that I was "functioning".

All the while, my downward spiral was growing, to the point that I was losing everything that I should have felt was important:
My Friendships
My Family
My Job(s)
My Freedom
My daughter
Myself.

Chaos became routine. Recklessness a way of life. Responsibility an after-thought.

So voluntarily (somewhat) I'm stepping back from everything and taking as much time as I need to confront my demons and focus on getting healthy.

I'll admit, it's a bit scary. When your life has been consumed with living a certain way it's hard to fathom an approach that is a complete 180 from the mindset you've had for YEARS. But the costs of depending on alcohol and drugs the majority of the time just to live day-to-day have become toooooooo much of a burden.

It's going to be a struggle, a battle, a conflict of epic proportions. But whatever it takes to regain control is worth any sacrifice.

I'm disappointed that I allowed myself to even get to this point.  But it's time to take things serious and get the proverbial monkey off of my back while I still can.

I thank God for His grace and mercy, and am wholly glad that in spite of all the ridiculous situations I've put myself in, I'm still alive and able to commit myself to bettering myself. I could have been dead a long time ago all for the sake of something inconsequential. Time to do better.

To those in my life who have been along for the ride, I'm glad to have you in my life, and I know I'll need the support while I'm rebuilding my foundation.

To those I've lost...it happened for a reason. Thanks for the experience.

And to the "life" I'm leaving behind, I can't lie, I enjoyed your company...I've had moments and memories of uniquely crazy fun that will last a lifetime.

I don't know what the future holds...but I can say that finally, the days of living like a Rockstar are over.

Sobriety used to be an insane and profane word to me.

Now it's gotta become a way of life.

Let's have a toast for the assholes,

O

2011

what up, World?

i know its been awhile...been busy...living. Time for the good, the bad, and the ugly.
the good: 28 Grams will be out soon! i havent released any music recently, so i'm stoked to see how the folks react to this project. i can honestly say i'm EXTREMELY excited about this mixtape...so i hope the response fits the excitement.
the bad: i'm still single...Nuff Said.
the ugly: i'm working on The Calibration (my follow-up to The Balance, my first official album) and so far i'm 12 tracks in, and i can honestly say this joint will be EPIC! This is ugly because, well, it's gonna change things for the competition...in a major way. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? (ha!)
Needless to say, big shoutout to my manager and my big homie D.I.G., P.I.F. Records, the U.N.I.T., Chucktown What, and everyone who supports the movement.
Stay Tuned!!!

Life is But a Dream...

I had a dream I said.
Being in Love is like a dream. The sky is the limit, the experiences are vivid and uniquely felt, and each moment feels as if it will never end.
Break-ups with someone you still care for are like waking up from a great dream. Sometimes, you just want to go back to sleep, and continue to experience the bliss and solace that a great relationship provides.
But, when an intersection of two people was doomed from inception, having your eyes opened to the reality of differences and irreconcilable contrasts is a rude awakening. Even though my dream is deferred, I can admit that I'm still sleepy.

So for those of you who are in Love, pinch yourself, and make sure that the inkling of pain you feel is something that is tolerable, desired, and something you can and will continue to live with.
If not, it's time to wake up.

Red Bull Time!

With Love,

O

Grown Ass Man

to err is human, and we all have made mistakes and fallen short of the glory of our full worth and potential.

i moreso than most, and for a long time ive dealt with my personal setbacks with actions that only intensified my shortcomings, blurred the lines of my moral compass, and drowned out the voice of my true consciousness.

the results? short lived pleasures: drunken conversations with temporary acquaintenances, a budget blown on frivilous expressions of spontanaeity, uneventful moments of chaos masked by a momentary good time.

ive alienated friends, hurt family members, and damaged relationships with people that didnt warrant or deserve the consequences of my selfish and short-sighted ways.

no more.

im humble enough to reflect and realize the cost of my actions.
im honest enough to fully hold myself accountable for my past and understand what i have to change to reclaim the future.
im real enough to admit that ive aspired towards reforming my approach to life many times before, and have always settled for short-lived periods of focus only to fall back into the same comfort zone, the same loop with the same shit in the same toilet.

as i get closer to celebrating another year on this earth, im starting to feel the weight of living life operating with the arrogance of youth. tomorrow is not promised, and by living for the day for so long ive lost sight of the fact that every moment of my existence speaks toward my legacy.

i want to do more than live life one day (or one drink, one regret, one outburst, one missed opportunity, etc.) at a time.

i need to live for what i want my life to be.
for what i want my daughter's life to be.
for what i want my wife's life to be.

its time to live...not for the moment or the thrill or the rush, but to celebrate the gift of life that God keeps giving to me daily.

ive been dead for too long now: scavenging on the spoils of unfruitful endeavors due to a desire for what i thought defined life.

time to breathe new life into what used to be a dead man walking.

rise Lazarus rise,

O

Finish Your Breakfast...

What up, world?

Checking in with an update from the Ozone layer of this air that I live in, where being high off life is a constant cruising altitude.

I've been working on sooooo many things presently that I've noticed my progress on everything as a whole is being noticably slowed down because I'm allowing my progress (or lack of) on one item to mentally affect my approach towards other items on my itinerary.

My buffet-style appetite for life used to work for me, but I'm starting to realize that my mental metabolism has slowed over the years, and now is the time to start fully digesting what I put on my plate, so I can make sure my eyes aren't bigger than my stomach.

So yes...I'm still working on a couple projects that are important to me: i.e. my book, RANT, my album.
But I'm taking my time on those while I continue to work on the main course: being a better father, a better mate, and a better man.

Let that boy cook,

O

The Calibration

To whom it may concern,

After much thought and reflection, I have decided to officially start working on The Calibration, my follow-up to my first album, The Balance. I'm extremely excited, optimistic, and focused on my upcoming work towards this project. Stay tuned!!!!

Chucktown What,

O

Silence

louder than life
it speaks volumes,
screams infinite words into a vacuum of opportunity.
a golden fleece covering the ear of Mother Nature's tongue;
a presence felt by marked absence.
louder than life
it echoes in consciousness;
a cold breeze in heated moments,
a fire stoked in polarizing intent.
louder than life
it whispers of hope,
in the language of our better nature;
it murmurs of death
in the voice of the enormity of humanity.
insightful words blind to the ear
heartfelt thoughts numb to expression
a future gift lost to an unwrapped present.
a symbol of reverence to the dead,
a caricature of communication to the living,
louder than life.
its song will always be
heard.

An Idea

i had an idea of Love,
at first a fleeting flirtation
that i chased with reckless abandon until I caught it.
infatuated with the thrill of a new journey,
i got lost in a maze of unrequited love
and found the bittersweet taste of a dream deferred.
now, I find my palette piqued
with an appetite for chocolate curves,
a passion for mahogany ideals,
a thirst for caramel kisses,
and a desire for a sepia-toned picture of Her
in white dress.
i had an idea of Love,
now I have
the.
real.
thing.

OSA

Fork In The Road

As a Libra, I can admit that at times in my life I have been indecisive and struggled with decisions for a number of reasons. Sometimes I didn't want to ruffle anyone's feathers or hurt others...sometimes I didn't want to change my routine and stray too far from my comfort zone.

Sometimes the fear of the unknown influenced me to stay rooted in situations that had no opportunity for growth.

But now I look at a difficult life decisions as a blessing...as a chance for new life...new friends...new opportunites. The past is the past, and although I try to learn from it, nobody wants to have an appetite for the same things over and over and over again.

That being said, I'm extremely hungry for life right now...and though I used to be wary of forks in the road of my life...now I salivate for them.

Let's Eat...

O

Flu season...

Well folks, I'm wrapping up recording of The Vaccine, which will be my next mixtape.

Be warned! This is probably the most personal project I've ever done. I touch on everything that's been going on in my life that past couple of months, and I try to be as honest as I can be as an artist.

So yeah, people are gonna be shocked, but I'm prepared for that.

Why?

This is what I do,
O

Reset Button

I don't know how many old heads still remember the gaming system known as Nintendo, but there was a button that cats hated to have to press, because usually the only time this button would be pushed is when things got completely out of control or the game happened to freeze and no further progress could be made.

In the game called Life, I just pushed the reset button.

Though I'm feeling a way about having to make such a drastic decision, I have no regrets, misgivings, or second thoughts for taking such an action.

I wish that me and Her could have made it work, but the truth of the matter is that work still needs to be done on the work-in-progress that is Omar Sharif Arthur.
I'm on a track to completely rebuild my life from the ground up, which is crazy considering all of the sacrifices I've made since my Daughter blessed me with her presence. But relationships come and go, life goes on, and the war continues.

With that said, I burned the field that I toiled on in hopes of harvesting great rewards, and now I'm replanting....reassessing....rebuilding.

The good book tells us that the race goes not to swift nor the strong, but to those who endure, and I literally just had a Red Bull and Vodka, lol.

So now with my newfound wings, I'm flying...not to a set destination, but wherever the winds of destiny happen to carry me.

Happy Trails,

O

The Reset Button

Ahem,

Taking a break from the dramedy that is my life to post a quick blog. All things considered I've been better than some, and worse than others, so no complaints.

Finished YLRN3 so I'll be posting either individual tracks or the whole shebang up here for my imaginary fanbase to listen to. Self-deprecating humor aside, it's actually pretty good shit (Hi, Haters).

Other than that, still in GA (though I'm on tale of two cities status with my work/home situation), still getting my Daddy learning curve on (mini-me is on the verge of walking now!!!), and still perfecting the project that is Omar Sharif Arthur (26 years and counting...).

Just caught a second wind, so hopefully things should be turning around and settling into a more stable and positive situation, but with my luck...who knows.

"Game+Hustle...that means fuck ya..."

Catch up niccas,

O

Tweet, tweet, tweet...

Oh yeah...I tweet now.
www.twitter.com/ofeez

Bird's the word,

O.

All in a day's work...

Ahem,

Fun weekend...drove to Columbia, chillaxed with D.I.G. and Dtune (the triangle offense strikes again), recorded 20 songs, AND drove back to ATLanta...and that was all on Saturday.

But.....back to life, back to reality...which means job-hunting, diaper-changing, dinner-cooking, dish-washing, and basic family-manning.

Even took Mini-Me to the pool today to get her swim on...see?


All in a day's work...someone tell Cris Abrego to holla at me! (I'm sure someone will make some sense of that)

Living the dream,

O.

Pulse Check...

I am still alive and well...
Shit has been mad hectic, particularly as a result of this fucked economy, but all things considered I am counting my blessings:

Young Journee Gabrielle is 8 months, healthy, and soon-to-be walking.
Thanks to support from family the probation situation has been resolved and is now over.
Job situation is relatively stable as of today (I'm not gonna hold my breath on it, though).
And God Willing, I will begin recording Y'all Losing Right Now Vol. 3 this weekend, as I take some time to head back to SC get some ME time outside of the hustle and bustle of life in Metro Atlanta.

So all in all, the glass is still half-empty, but I'm content.
Some people don't even have the glass anymore...

Cheers,

O

Back to the Future...

Guess who's back in the A?

Moved back to Atl last weekend and have been getting settled in.

So far, I am extemely happy to be back.
I have thoroughly enjoyed seeing my daughter everyday, and being with my woman has improved our relationship immensely.

The sacrifice?
No more running the streets, clubbing crazy-like, and drinking like a fish.
Surprisingly, I'm not bothered by this in the slightest.

I always thought that being a father and mate would be too boring for me to ever handle.

Now that I'm in that space, I can say that the thrills I receive from waking up to my woman, and tucking my daughter in on the daily far surpass the mindless bullshit I was enveloped in for far too long.

Time to put away childish things.

Say goodbye to the bad guy,

O

Back to the Future...

Hello World,

The most sporadic blogger is here, and I'm here to report that I am on the verge of two life changes: one unexpected but HUGE, one anticipated but DOPE.

Both should be wrapped up in time for Cupid's day, so suffice to say moves will be made in roughly a week (Lord's Will).

So to those who talk with Omar or those who rock with OFeez, stay tuned...

Take that, take that...

O

Attention:

To whom it may concern:

I am now working on my new mixtape:

Y'all Losing Right Now Vol. 2

For those who haven't heard the first joint I'll be posting that soon.

Support local artists dammit!

I got a kid to feed...lol.

I'm focused man, tell Shawn Holla at me mannnn!

Still the best rapper in SC! (tru!)

Che-che-check out my melody,

O

Allow me to reintroduce myself...

A new year!
2008 was irony defined.

Uneventfully eventful.
Joyfully sorrow.
Unsatisfyingly content.
Progressively backwards. Gratifyingly insatiable.
I'm sure you get the point...

I had a baby girl.
I dealt with legal issues.
I made the best music of my life.
I got divorced.
I lost a great job.
I got another great job. I brought sexy back.
I was confronted with my ugly ways.

With all of the ups and downs that I experienced last year I'm approaching this new year with a new attitude.

Newfound focus.
Newfound confidence.
Newfound priorities.
Newfound love.

Most people approach a new 365 with a solitary resolution.
But for me, 2009 is all about the 'Re':

The Re-Up,
The Rebirth,
The Rekindling,
The Reintroduction.

I guess I got my swagger back,

O